What people are saying about

Rocky Cologne's Comedy Traffic School


excerpted from:

by Lynn Shoenut Yaney

"Traffic school fun"


The first time I went to traffic school, it was grand. The instructor was interesting and the other criminals delightful... Before the day was over, we were planning the class reunion, prom and sporting events against other traffic schools.

My second trip was awful. It was a spring day and no one, including the instructor, wanted to be there. The atmosphere of "get on with this" was oppressive.

Rocky Cologne's class last Saturday was another exceptional experience. Four or five of us huddled outside the door, early birds not wanting to be late. We grinned sheepishly at each other and in the style of all criminals, the "Whadda ya in for?" questions began.

'How fast were you going?' I asked one woman. "Oh, way under the speed limit! It was the stop sign I went through."

We all nodded slowly, knowingly.

And then the doors were flung open and there stood our instructor: Rocky Cologne. I am not making this up. He was handsome and funny and knowledgeable - an unusual combination.

I'd like to dash off a few of his jokes, but I can't. His humor is all in the delivery, timing and body language. He was sometimes droll, sometimes incredulous. You had to be there. And so we were - 16 of us, four men and 12 women.

Rocky told us we'd be playing Traffic School Jeopardy. the winning team would get processed out first at the end of the day.

He talked to us about Photo Radar - said not to bother fighting the new laser technology. It's precise and apparently as we speak, in San Ramon, Dublin, Pleasanton, Oakland and San Francisco.

When a photo radar ticket is mailed to you it doesn't contain the photo. Since that doctor's wife opened his ticket and noticed his nurse snuggled up, that part's been omitted. but you can go see it.

What if someone borrows your car, gets their picture taken, and won't pay the fine? You won't get the point on your license, but you will have to pay the fine. Bye friend.

"A yellow light does not mean 'Punch It!'" Rocky said. "In fact, the offense occurs the minute your front wheels cross the white line at the crosswalk."

Rocky told us that for every ticket you get you do 2,000 things wrong before you get caught. I'm sure he's accurate where I'm concerned.

The first half of Jeopardy began. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to win. Looking at my team members (the Violators) and then across the room ant the Law Breakers, I realized everyone felt the same way.

My team started slowly, then surged ahead! Then back. And then ahead once more by lunch time.

Everyone raced back after the break because being with Rocky was lots more fun than slogging through the cold rain someplace.

He explained how taking traffic school masks the violation on your public record, but not your private one. Only the FBI, CIA and other government agencies can access that. Oh you can too. Just drop by the DMV and ask for a copy. They charge $10 - request a manager if the clerk looks like he/she never heard of this.

Time for Double Jeopardy. A chance to break out first! We blew our big lead. Then the other side go a weensy bit cocky. Wham! We bet it all: 5,000 points on the final question. And we knew the answer!

When Rocky told us we'd play Traffic School Jeopardy, I was skeptical. But looking back, I realize we rally mulled over those questions. And we listened well as the other side worked on theirs.

I thought about Rocky yesterday as I flew through the rain. Then I eased my foot off the accelerator. I'm going to try not to commit those 2,000 errors too fast.

If you've been nabbed and must do time,...request Rocky Cologne.

He's a pretty darn good teacher. Funny for sure. But he knows how to make a lasting impression.


"To whom it may concern:

I recently attended traffic school...and I wanted to take a moment to recognize the teacher of the class, Rocky Cologne.

I just wanted to let you know that he did a fantastic job teaching the class. He made the 'dreaded traffic school experience' very enjoyable. I started the class dreading traffic school and I ended up enjoying the class. It was a good review and a fun experience.

In the future, I will recommend Rocky to anybody who has to attend traffic school."

--Tish Hinderliter


"It was great! It took away all the pain and put a lot of pleasure into traffic school. I laughed, I cried, I kissed my bucks goodbye, but it was well worth it..."

--Reid Whatley, Deejay MisterSpin www.misterspin.com


"Very Informative, very entertaining! Going to Rocky's class made going to traffic school enjoyable!"

--Maria Acosta, Account Specialist


"I've been to 15 of these things...and Rocky's class was by far the best class I've ever been to. He was funny, friendly, down to earth, made you feel comfortable and also got the point across."

--Mitch Garth, Sales Representative



--Joe Perez, College Student


"He really taught a great class. I mean to sit in traffic school is one thing, but to sit there and have it be enjoyable is pretty unbelievable! Great Job! I wish him much success and I'd certainly be a big advocate for him."

--Rhonda, Radio Sales


"Great, Great, Great class! One thing I hated about going to traffic school is it's boring, it takes up my time, and the teachers were stiff. Rocky eliminates all these! I never would have believed that there was a traffic school that can be fun and informative at the same time. I would highly recommend Rocky's class to anyone who needs to go."

--Mike Robinson, Business Owner


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